Why forcing doesn’t work — and passivity doesn’t either
I want to share something simple that revealed a lot to me.
We were decorating our Christmas tree, and there was this long string of lights — completely tangled.
Knots everywhere. Total chaos.
At first, I did what most people do:
I attacked the mess.
Pulling harder.
Trying from different angles.
Putting in more effort.
It didn’t work.
So I paused.
Not to give up — but to change how I was working.
I picked one end of the string.
I stayed patient.
I worked systematically through the knots — one by one.
It still took time.
It still required attention and persistence.
But now there was progress.
And that’s when it clicked.
This is exactly how awakening works.
Awakening doesn’t respond to brute force.
But it also doesn’t respond to passivity.
What actually works is choosing the right system —
and then working with it in a relaxed, patient, and aligned way.
Many people get stuck because they swing between two extremes:
forcing their process
or giving up and waiting for something to magically happen
Both create suffering.
Real progress happens when:
you meet what’s here without resistance
you stay with sensations, emotions, and beliefs as they are
and you keep moving in the right direction, calmly and persistently
When effort is no longer fighting reality, but cooperating with it.
In awakening, this often looks like:
staying with a feeling instead of avoiding it
gently unraveling a belief instead of attacking it
grounding the body while allowing the process to unfold
staying with a single approach until you no longer see progress from it
noticing that things are loosening — not because you force them, but because you’re working with the system
If awakening currently feels intense, confusing, or like you’re not sure what to do anymore — that doesn’t mean nothing works.
It usually means the old way doesn’t.
I put everything I see people struggle with in this phase — and how to work with it — into a free guide:
It covers:
emotional amplification
kundalini intensity
when practices stop working
how to ground without suppressing
how to stay patient, relaxed, and effective at the same time
some common pitfalls
You can download it here:
👉 Download the free Stabilizing Awakening guide
Start there.
Let it orient you toward the right way of working with your process.
And if after reading you want personal clarity on how this applies to your specific situation, you can book a free clarity session from that page.
No pressure.
Just the next aligned step.
Much love,
Kees