My Survival Guide For The Holiday Season🌲
Even though the holidays are a festive season of dinners, drinks, fun, family, lights and love. It does feel heavy for people. There is a sense of obligation that I hear when talking to friends and clients. A sense of needing to do things, needing to have a certain experience, big expectations to fulfill and perfecting circumstances.Next to that everyone needs to be at their best behavior and not talk about the things we are not supposed to talk about. There is quite some heaviness around Christmas and New Years Celebrations and for most, the days off in between. So... I created a Survival Guide for the Holiday Season.
How do we go about doing things in a relaxed manner this year?
First of all, the holiday season are part of life, so it is similar to our normal days. It is either a fun time to enjoy or a more difficult time to learn from. When I mean learn from, I do not mean to try to please everybody or try to make sure everything is handled in advance.No... our moods, health and preference might be influenced but it cannot be controlled and unfortunately😉 we also can't control others, and neither should we try. So the holiday season is just perfect as it is, lessons or a fun time, usually a mix of both, a perfect cocktail that seems imperfect for those who want no lessons but just fun. Sorry but... you came here for both 🌀.
Now that we know (or have been reminded of) that the holidays are just a normal part of life we can lift these expectations of fun, clinking glasses and cheers all around. If you add pressure to any situation, fun is usually not the outcome. Let's enjoy the fun when it comes and see what happens without expectations of yourself and others.
My biggest tip for having a good time
Now, my biggest secret for allowing happiness to arise is to be authentic. This sounds really weird because we have been taught to suppress negative feelings, especially during the holidays, but if you open up about tiredness, grumpiness, menstrual cycles and things that might be in the way of a good time, we relieve pressure instantly.We allow ourselves to be who we are and then a magic thing happens: we relax and slowly start to enjoy ourselves more. Open up about your feelings to your partners, family and those at the dinner table and see what happens, you might even get some support.
But Kees, I have a family member who always...
Hahah Yes, this is the question I was waiting for :). The whacky, psychotic family member who says your new hair is off, your aura stinks, you fart, or that is insulting your mom. Stand your ground on this one. See what they are doing not as something that is not related to you (or your aura) but that is related to them. They are having a bad time, are socially maladjusted or grumpy. The key is to let them be. Don't try to fix them, but let them learn another time from another person, or if you feel inclined to, then give them some kind feedback: "That hurt me a little bit, but I know it's not meant as a personal attack".
Emergency tactics
If you need it, go to the toilet, set the time for five minutes and meditate. When you need it, say you are very hot and want some fresh air and take a short walk around the block. Maybe you can take a friend a side for a quick chat so you can share your struggles. Whatever it takes to link your awareness of what is happening, with some inner- or external compassion so it can float onwards.
Happy Holidays to all of you...May there be peace, May there be love.
XOXO
Kees.
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Kees Blok is a Spiritual Teacher & Certified Coach, Coaching People in Amsterdam and Remotely to Reduce Stress and Improve Flow through Meditation and Coaching.